Thursday, September 15, 2011

Not Leaning on My Own Understanding



"Trust in the LORD with all of your heart, and lean not upon thine own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."
~ Psalm 3:5-6 ~


   Lately life just really hasn't gone exactly as I planned it. At the beginning of this year I resolved that this year was going to be different from any other, I was going to do things that I wouldn't be able to do as a married woman, this would be the year I enjoyed my singleness and was content with it. I was going to learn lots of new things, I was going to work on getting my body into shape, and I was going to grow closer to God.

   Things started out just fine, I got my herb business up on the internet, I really studied hard to learn new things about herbs and planned my biggest herb garden yet, I lost several pounds and God was really working in my life, I felt so good about where I was at in my life, I finally felt like I was completely content.

That was when God began His work....

  God did something that I didn't really foresee in my life at the present time. All the things I had planned to do seemed to come to halt for this one thing, it wasn't purposeful at all it just happened. God really started working in me, at times I was so fearful of what was happening that it hurt but I knew it was for the best, and so, although I feared the unknown I did what He asked.

   God started working on my heart through another person. This person really made me look at me as a person, look at myself through another persons eyes and look deeper inside of me than I had ever dared look. I had to open my heart up and what I saw at times I didn't like, and other times I couldn't believe how God worked through me in certain areas. They made me write about things that I hadn't dared write before (although no one ever saw it, I still wrote it), and feelings about certain things that I didn't know were in my heart surfaced. At times I had to reopen old wounds, and it hurt so much. But, I think that it was a good thing...I think that there was still a little poison left in those wounds that needed to be drawn out.

  At times we had to talk of things that were uncomfortable for both of us, but it was necessary and in the end, God worked through both this person and myself in such an awesome way. All of this was by no means easy, but God lightened the load just as He says he will do. We had many good times as well as hard ones, and a friendship was formed.


  Through it all I have realized that first of all when I start planning my life I better watch out cause God is going to do something to turn my plans upside down (and for good reason). Secondly, God never brings people into our lives for no reason, it may be uncertain as to why they are there or how long they will be there, but God always has a reason for someone being in your life. I am so glad that this person was in my life for the short time that they were. Otherwise I wouldn't have learned certain things that God had for me to learn and do in my life. People don't realize what an impact they have on other people's lives. No matter how small the gesture or period of time you are in someones life, remember God placed you there for a reason so make sure you do what He tells you to do. Make the difference.

 God is so AWESOME.

 Pray over your future and look only to Him for your comfort and hope. Do not fear what comes your way because it is an unknown, trust God in all things and He will bring the desires of your heart to pass and realize that the closer you become to Christ the desires of your heart will become the desires of Christ for you, it will not be so focused on the things "below" but more on the things "above". God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform and I have seen this in my own life just over the past four months and I am so thankful for a God who is also my Abba Father, My closest confidante &  most of all My Best Friend!

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Oh and by the way I guess God did fulfill my resolve (just not the way I planned it) and I have learned so much more in areas I did not realize I needed "educating" in, it has been a year like no other. Plus,  I look forward to what He has planned for the next three months of the year! God is so GOOD!